Do you ever feel like a fraud at work? Or worry that people won’t love the ‘real’ you? Even when you have evidence that suggests none of the above is true? Then, you could be experiencing imposter syndrome - and, you’re not the only one.
Research shows imposter syndrome is a universal struggle with one review finding that up to 82% of people could be experiencing imposter syndrome and suffer from anxiety, burnout and exhaustion because of it.
While imposter syndrome can feel deflating and challenging, the good news is that there are steps you can take to overcome self-doubt and boost self-confidence, so you stop holding yourself back from reaching your full potential
To help you leave imposter syndrome behind for good, we spoke to two experts to bring you everything you need to know including how to spot it and how to beat it.
What Is Imposter Syndrome?
“Imposter syndrome is the overwhelming feeling of self-doubt or fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’,” explains Holistic Health & Wellness Coach Christina Calderwood. When we experience imposter syndrome it’s because we believe on some level that our achievements are down to luck or other factors and not our own ability, and we feel unworthy of our success.
“Those with imposter syndrome worry that others will eventually uncover the ‘truth’ and see their perceived lack of skill and capability, despite evidence of their success and achievements,” Christina adds.
Signs of Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome can show up in different ways and may show up differently depending on the scenario you are in.
For example, imposter syndrome at work can look like questioning if your contributions are valuable and choosing to stay silent out of fear. In friendships it can look like worrying what others think of you and in romantic relationships you might feel you're undeserving of your partner's love and affection.
Imposter syndrome often shows up in self-limiting thoughts and beliefs, and the stories we tell ourselves. According to Christina, some of the most common thoughts people with imposter syndrome may have include:
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I don't deserve this success, I just got lucky.
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I'm not as smart or talented as they think I am.
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I'm afraid they will find out I don't know what I'm doing.
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I’m afraid they will see the ‘real’ me and not like me for who I really am.
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I have to work harder than others to prove myself and achieve my goals.
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I can't make any mistakes or ask for help, or they will think I'm incompetent.
Why do we experience Imposter Syndrome
“Imposter syndrome is more common than we might think and something we may experience at different stages of life,” mindset and confidence coach Francesca Nervegna tells us. With research suggesting that up to 70% of us may experience imposter syndrome in our lifetime, this fear-driven mindset can affect anyone at any time, regardless of their age, gender or profession.
There are many reasons why we may experience imposter syndrome, some of these include striving for perfectionism, our upbringing, facing a new challenge and social comparison.
“Perfectionism is another way that self-sabotage and imposter syndrome can disguise themselves,” explains Christina. “Holding ourselves to unrealistic standards and expectations stops us from going after our dreams, let alone even trying. This happens when we are afraid of failing, of being seen, feeling vulnerable or not feeling as good as others.”
The environment in which we grew up in can also lead us to strive for perfectionism and experience imposter syndrome. “People who grew up in environments with high expectations or where success was often compared to others' achievements may have internalised the belief that they need to constantly prove their worth,'' Christina adds.
Similarly, a big life change that involves taking the leap before we feel ‘ready’, such as a new job or promotion, can trigger self-doubt and feelings of imposter syndrome.
We may experience imposter syndrome when we compare ourselves to others, either those around us or on social media. “The grass may seem greener on the other side, we might think that others are better than us and start to compare ourselves to them and compete with them in our minds,” Francesca adds.
Christina echoes this: “We're constantly bombarded with messages that our worth is tied to our achievements and external validation. The pressure to meet these unrealistic standards can be overwhelming.” Christina believes that social media makes this worse by only showing us the highlights, making it seem like everyone else has got everything together while we are struggling.
Stereotypes can also lead to feelings of imposter syndrome. “Individuals from underrepresented groups may feel added pressure to succeed and represent their group positively, which can contribute to imposter syndrome,” Christina explains. “They might also face implicit or explicit biases that undermine their confidence.”
How to beat Imposter Syndrome
The first step to beating imposter syndrome is becoming aware of it and identifying that we have self-limiting beliefs. “Once we identify it, we are already one step ahead and we can start working on it,” Francesca explains.
Acknowledge your feelings
To start identifying your limiting beliefs and find clarity around why these thoughts or feelings are coming up, Francesca suggests journaling. Once you identify your negative thoughts and the beliefs that fuel them, you can start to work on overcoming them.
Christina suggests using a technique called cognitive reframing, which involves replacing your negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones.
This could include something like:
- I deserve this success because I worked hard for it and I have the right skills and qualifications.
- I don't have to know everything, no one does. I can learn from my mistakes and ask for help when I need it.
- I deserve love and a fulfilling relationship because I offer kindness, respect, and genuine care.
- I don’t need to be perfect in a relationship; no one is.
Celebrate your achievements
No matter how big or small, taking time to reflect on your accomplishments and celebrating your achievements will help to shift your mindset and reduce feelings of imposter syndrome. “Create a folder where you list down any positive feedback, milestones and accomplishments, or keep a journal with your successes, big & small. Come back to them whenever self-doubt creeps in,” Christina advises.
Share your experiences
Opening up to trusted friends about your experiences may help you to feel less alone, and connect with others around you who are also experiencing imposter syndrome. “Sometimes, just hearing others say they’ve felt the same way can be incredibly validating.” Christina says.
Challenge negative thoughts
Whenever you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, such as ‘I’m not good enough’, counter it with evidence that shows you it’s untrue. “Often, you’ll find that the negative thoughts are baseless and you have far more examples of why you are good enough, exactly as you are. “ Christina says.
Francesca often uses positive affirmations with her clients, to help them require their brain and replace old patterns and limiting beliefs with new ones. “You can also use positive affirmations to rewire your brain and replace old patterns and limiting beliefs with new ones,” Francesca adds. “Your brain will believe anything that you tell it, if you are constantly affirming that you are an imposter and you are not good enough, you will keep believing it. On the other hand, thanks to neuroplasticity, you can reprogram your brain to embrace more positive thoughts and, in turn, boost your confidence.”
Shift to a growth mindset
Beating imposter syndrome is all about shifting your mindset from striving for perfectionism to embracing growth. “If you are ready to stop self-sabotaging and stop letting your internal dialogue make you feel like an imposter you are going to have to let yourself be imperfect,” says Chrsitna. She adds: “Understand that mistakes and failures are part of life and a fundamental part of the learning process. Remember, courage comes first, confidence follows.”
