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How To Use Your Love Language To Crush Your Fitness Goals

13th February 2025

Fitness

13th February 2025

By Josh Makin

It’s February once again, and you know what that means? We’re well and truly into Valentine’s season.

While we’ve previously covered the best workouts for couples and how couples can strengthen relationships through fun exercises, this year we wanted to take a different approach and focus on the idea of self-love.

Now the mind/body connection is nothing new when it comes to fitness, with studies evidencing “higher levels” of physical activity from those exhibiting a healthier mindset. Yet very few have dug deeper into how the principles of love and a healthy relationship can be used to improve your workout mindset.

Think about it, you wouldn’t stay with a partner if you didn’t enjoy their company so why should your workout plan be any different?

With the 14th of February approaching, we thought there was no better time to ask the question: how can the principles of love and ‘love languages’ be used to fuel your fitness journey?

What are the five love languages?

Before jumping into this dance, it makes sense to go back 2 steps and ask, what exactly are the “love languages”?

The concept was first popularised by Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages.  He theorised that people primarily express and experience love in one of five of the following distinct ways:

  • Words of affirmation – These people feel most loved when they are praised, encouraged, or complimented.
  • Acts of service – Expressing love through intentional actions that make your partner's life easier.
  • Receiving gifts – These people feel most loved and appreciated when they receive thoughtful presents.
  • Quality time – This love language type is all about spending ‘quality’ time with others in a meaningful way.
  • Physical touch – This language relates to those who primarily feel loved and connected through physical affection.

Contrary to what the name suggests, love languages aren’t just about how we communicate love. They relate to how individuals want to give and receive any sort of affection.

By understanding your own love language, and that of others, you can significantly improve communication and strengthen relationships

How can I improve my fitness using the 5 love languages?

So, how does this relate to fitness?

Well, fitness at its core is an act of self-love and care. As we’ve covered before, any form of exercise releases ‘feel good’ endorphin chemicals as well as serotonin (also contributing to improved sleep).

But just like with any relationship, you need to "speak the right language" to truly motivate yourself. As such, we’ve included our top tips for how you can tailor these love language principles to your workout.

Words of affirmation

While self-affirmation is by no means a substitute for the workout, there’s no denying that a positive mindset can propel your motivation and focus. The way you speak to yourself—before, during, and after —can shape your mindset, build your confidence, and create a deeper sense of drive when it comes to hitting a new personal best.

To get the most from this love language type, the first step is to clearly define what you want to accomplish. Whether it's weight loss, muscle gain, or improved endurance, knowing your goals allows you to tailor your self-affirmations and make them more personal to you. 

Another good trick is to make these affirmations positive and present-focused, stating them as if they are already true. Something akin to “I am hitting my PB “as opposed to “I will hit my PB” can make all the difference. While it might take patience, you also need to believe in the truth of your words for them to be effective.

Quality time

Just as you would with your partner, quality workout time is all about setting aside parts of your week to focus just on loving your workout. Remove distractions, switch off the phone, find a quiet space and truly tune your body into your exercise.

Quality workout time also doesn’t mean doing it alone.  

Finding a workout partner who shares your goals can make everything more enjoyable and provide greater motivation to succeed.

Also, remember to celebrate and enjoy any and all milestones while acknowledging progress and achievements, no matter how small. 

By prioritising quality time with yourself and/or others during your fitness journey, you can make the process more enjoyable and ultimately more successful.

Receiving gifts

Applying the "receiving gifts" love language type to fitness goals might seem counterintuitive at face value, but rewarding yourself with something you enjoy after a workout can actually do wonders for your motivation and help avoid any signs of a workout rut.

The key here is personalisation; consider what would truly motivate you and try and link these rewards to specific, achievable goals. This creates a positive association with your fitness journey. 

On the other hand, it’s important to pick healthy rewards that align with your workout goals rather than hinder them. Think things like spa days, self-care items, healthy treats, or even just dedicated time off for fitness and relaxation.

Acts of service

Those who thrive with acts of service as their love language might find it tricky to transfer this principle into their workout journey as again, you have to express these acts of service to yourself as opposed to someone else.

Our key tip to get the most from this love language is to focus on actions that support and facilitate your goals, rather than simply relying on willpower. This will then work hand in hand with a principle like words of affirmation. This might mean:

·        Hiring a personal trainer

·        Investing in protein powders and supplements

·        Investing in more advanced workout gear

·        Buying something like a fitness tracker to monitor progress

·        Booking regular group fitness classes

And plenty more.

Beyond this, smaller acts can be equally effective in helping you smash your goals.  Preparing your workout clothes the night before, scheduling your workouts in your calendar like important appointments, and prioritising sleep are all ways of serving your future self.

Physical touch

If your love language is physical touch, then you’re in luck.

There are plenty of creative ways to effectively apply this principle to your workout routine, most of which start with a focus on the physical sensations of your exercise. So what does this mean?

Well, try and create a heightened awareness of your body during exercise.  Pay close attention to the muscles working, the rhythm of your breath, and the connection between your mind and body, making your workouts more engaging and effective. 

Just as important is finding physical activities you genuinely enjoy, whether dancing, swimming, hiking, or yoga, pleasure in movement is key for those whose love language is physical touch. 

While a more traditional approach, there’s also nothing better than a high five or a hug from a workout partner after smashing your latest achievement.

References

  • John-Henderson, N., Tintzman, C., Counts, C., Mueller, C (2022) Health Mindsets as a Predictor of Physical Activity and Body Mass Index in American Indian College Students. J Health Psychol. 26, 12. Click here.

 

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The Best Gym Exercises for Beginners

The Best Gym Exercises for Beginners

Starting out in the gym can feel overwhelming. There’s no shortage of advice telling you what you should be doing, from new exercises to new machines and new programmes. The sources of this advice often promise better results faster than ever if you just buy into their fancy new product and it can all seem a bit complex, especially for a gym newbie. In reality, effective beginner training is far simpler than it looks. For most people new to the gym, the most effective exercises are built around five foundational movements: the squat, deadlift, row, overhead press, and bench press. These movements and their variants form the core of nearly all well-designed training programmes. Whether you’re a bodybuilder, powerlifter, sport focussed or just someone that wants to lose weight and get a bit fitter, these are the exercises that give you the most bang for your buck. They also have real world benefits[1] outside of the gym and learning how to do them safely and effectively is beneficial for everyone. The principles in this guide reflect how experienced strength coaches approach beginner training: prioritising simple, proven movements that build confidence, strength, and long-term resilience. We’ll explain why these exercises matter, how beginners can approach them safely, and how to build an effective training routine around them. How to approach your training as a beginner in the gym One of the biggest misconceptions about beginner training is that progress comes from doing more. More exercises, more variety, more complexity. In practice, the opposite is usually true. Beginners tend to make faster and more sustainable progress by focusing on a small number of well-chosen exercises, learning them properly, and applying progressive overload[2], or the process of steadily increasing the intensity or difficulty of your workouts over time. This might be through increasing weight, more sets/reps, reducing your rest time between sets or even improving your technique and form. Strength, coordination, and confidence are built over time with consistent effort, not through constantly switching things up and never mastering the basics. This approach is about creating a solid foundation for everything else to build on. Be mindful of where your fitness advice comes from The modern fitness space is noisy. Social media, apps, and online programmes offer an endless stream of workouts, hacks, and shortcuts but many these are poorly explained, poorly evidenced, or simply unsuitable for beginners. It can be tough to sort through the static and know what works for you, even for experienced gymgoers! When you’re new to training, it’s especially important to be selective about where your information comes from. Exercises and principles that stand the test of time usually do so for a reason. Movements that are widely used in strength training, rehabilitation, and athletic preparation are typically supported by decades of practical experience and scientific understanding. As a general rule, beginner training works best when it prioritises: Evidence-led principles Exercises that train multiple muscles and joints Gradual progression rather than constant change If something promises dramatic results through complexity alone, it’s rarely the best place to start. In general, be mindful of those who claim they can get you fast results with minimal effort; the reality is that real, sustainable progress comes slowly and consistently over time and learning to enjoy the journey is key! The KISS principle: why simplicity works A useful way to think about beginner training is the KISS principle[3] – it means Keep It Simple Stupid, Sweetie or some other variation of this. The principle applies well throughout your training career, even as you progress into more advanced or challenging training, and relates back to that ideology that the core of your training should always revolve around simple, effective exercises done well in a way that challenges you. It’s easy to think of simplicity as a lack of sophistication, but it’s actually a deliberate strategy. Repeating a small number of key exercises allows beginners to learn core movement patterns quickly and track progress clearly. You’ll find your confidence building and see your physical capabilities in daily life improving too! Rather than jumping between workouts, the KISS approach encourages mastery. Each session reinforces the last, making improvements easier to measure and sustain. The five exercises below aren’t random. Together, they cover the most important movement patterns the body needs to be strong, capable, and resilient. Remember, these exercises aren’t just for beginners Although this guide is written with beginners in mind, the exercises below are not “starter” movements that you leave behind as you progress. The squat, deadlift, row, overhead press, and bench press form the foundation of effective training at every level, from general fitness and bodybuilding to powerlifting and sport-specific performance. What changes over time isn’t the movement itself, but how it’s applied. Load increases, variations become more specific, and training goals evolve. The underlying movement patterns remain the same. Mastering these exercises early on can help to accelerate progress. The time spent building sound technique and strength carries forward into every future phase of training. Free weights vs machines Many people gravitate towards machines when they first join a gym. They can feel safer, more controlled, and easier to use and they absolutely have their place, particularly early on. In fact, studies have found the machines build the same amount of muscle and strength as free weights[4] in many circumstances. That said, free weight exercises offer distinct advantages when introduced appropriately. Unlike machines, free weights require your body to stabilise the load. This leads to: Greater activation of supporting muscles Strengthening of surrounding connective tissue Improved balance, coordination, and body awareness These benefits translate more directly to movements we all perform every day, such as lifting, carrying, pushing, and pulling. For those interested in weightlifting and other sports, free weights are also essential because they directly impact performance improvements. To put this simply: if you want to get better at bench press, you need to be bench pressing! The same applies to other sports too; if you’re going to be using a specific muscle group then using free weight exercises to strengthen it will have huge benefits. In summary, machines can be a useful tool, but learning to control your body and external load in space is a skill that pays dividends long-term. For most beginners, free weight training provides greater carryover beyond the gym. The five foundational gym exercises The exercises below form a simple but powerful framework for training at any level. You don’t need to start with heavy weights or advanced variations; the priority is learning the movement well. Each exercise has accessible variations and clear progression paths, making them suitable for beginners and effective for years to come. The squat The squat is the foundation of overall lower body strength[5] and teaches one of the most fundamental human movements: sitting down and standing up under control. It develops strength in the quadriceps, glutes, hamstrings, and core, while also improving balance and joint coordination. Learning to squat well builds confidence and lays the groundwork for nearly all lower-body training. As a newcomer to the gym, start simple and squat with your bodyweight. Focus on good form and depth, keeping your knees tracking in line with your toes and sitting backwards with your weight distributed evenly[6] over the middle of your feet. Think of it like you’re forming a tripod between the ball of your foot, the area by your pinky toe and your heel. Start with a shoulder width foot placement and together, these two points will give you the most stability. If you’re looking for more advice, we’ve written a full guide on how to squat correctly. Once you’ve mastered the bodyweight squat you can start to try new variations. Natural progressions from here are the goblet squat, where you squat holding a dumbbell, or varying your foot placement to emphasise different muscles (for example, a closer stance places more tension on the quads). When you’re comfortable with this, you can progress to a bar and slowly begin adding more load. The goal early on is control and consistency, not how much weight you can lift. Never sacrifice proper depth or form for more load as this can lead to injury and will actually result in less muscle stimulation and, therefore, less results. The deadlift Often referred to as the king of all movements and for good reason, the deadlift focuses on the hip hinge, a crucial movement pattern for lifting objects from the floor safely. It primarily trains the glutes, hamstrings, and back, while reinforcing good posture and spinal stability, but did you know the deadlift works almost every muscle in the body[7]? Done correctly, it teaches beginners how to generate strength without unnecessary strain. It also has some of the greatest functional benefits and carryover to everyday life of any gym exercise. Think about how often you need to pick things up every day; the deadlift teaches you how to do this safely and efficiently. To deadlift, place your feet around hip-width apart. Keep your chest pushed out to help your back stay straight. Hinge forward at the hips and bend your knees only as far as you need to meet the bar, then grip just outside of your legs. The deadlift is a pulling movement, but it can be helpful to think about pushing the ground away from you by driving through your feet to get the bar moving off the ground. Once you’re past your knees, think about pushing your hips forward into the bar to finish the movement. To lower the weight, simply reverse the movement. The deadlift is an exercise with (quite literally) a lot of moving parts, and it can be hard to execute for those with mobility issues. Fortunately, there are plenty of beginner friendly alternatives if you can’t do the full deadlift right away. You could try a rack pull or raised bar deadlift, where you begin with the weight slightly higher and operate within a reduced range of motion. You can then increase this over time until you can pull from the floor. You could also try deadlifting with a kettlebell, or even attempt the sumo variation, where your feet are placed wider and your hands grip inside of your legs. The row For strength in your upper back and improving posture issues so often caused by working an office job and being sat at a desk all day, the row is the perfect exercise. Rows train the muscles of the upper back and arms, supporting good posture and shoulder health. They also synergise perfectly with the deadlift, and you’ll find that improving in one almost always benefits the other. There are many variations of the row; you could go for the bent over barbell row or use a dumbbell to isolate each side of your body (known as unilateral training[8]). There’s also kettlebells, machines and more – the possibilities truly are endless! One thing these movements all have in common is that they involve pulling something towards you. Whichever variation of the row you choose, focus on retracting your shoulder first as this helps to target the back over the arms. Many gymgoers find their arms tiring first and that’s usually because they haven’t learnt to target their back with the proper movement! Something else that’s important to consider is that rows balance pressing movements and play an important role in long-term joint resilience. For beginners, they help develop control through the shoulder blades and reinforce upper body pulling strength. The overhead press The overhead press, often known as the military press, develops shoulder strength while engaging the core and upper back for stability. It teaches coordination between the upper body and trunk, making it a valuable full-body exercise rather than just a shoulder movement. Pressing from a standing position, especially with a bar, requires good posture and overall body strength to be able to get the weight to the starting position. If you’re struggling with this then there are plenty of variations you can try instead. Beginners may start with seated dumbbell presses, landmine presses, or lighter barbell variations, progressing as technique improves. Whichever variant of the shoulder press you choose, one universally useful tip is to focus on pressing through the shoulders. This helps with maximum muscle activation and therefore gives the most benefit from the exercise. The bench press Ah, the bench press. It’s one of the most well-known gym exercises, most likely because it’s gained a bit of a reputation as being exclusively for men overly concerned about their appearance. In truth, when approached correctly, it’s a highly effective movement that anyone can benefit from. It develops strength in the chest, shoulders, and triceps while teaching control through the upper body. Pressing movements are one of the most common that we do in daily life and the bench press assists with these, but it also improves shoulder mobility and helps us bring our arms across our bodies, meaning being good at the bench press helps with our overall mobility. The premise of the movement itself is fairly simple, though mastering it requires plenty of practice and dedication. To perform the bench press, lay flat on the bench facing upwards and take a comfortable grip, usually somewhere around shoulder width apart. Take the weight, then lower it under control to your chest and press upwards, engaging your chest, shoulders and triceps. Try to get all the way down if your mobility allows. If not, focus on improving this until you’re able to perform the full range of motion. If the bar proves too tough, then try either a dumbbell or machine variant first as these will allow a bit more freedom of movement. Dumbbells can actually be more effective for building strength in the stabilising muscles around your chest. Regardless of the variation you choose, experiment with different levels of incline and decline to shift the focus to different areas of your chest when you feel ready to do so. As with all pressing movements, balanced pulling work (such as rows) is key to keeping shoulders healthy. Honourable mention: the pull-up While not included as one of the above core exercises, the pull up is widely regarded as one of the best indicators of overall upper body strength and is a valuable long-term goal for many beginners. It develops vertical pulling strength and upper-body control. Variations such as lat pulldowns, assisted pull-ups, band-assisted reps, and controlled negatives allow beginners to work towards full pull-ups progressively. Rather than a requirement, the pull-up works best as a milestone and something to build towards over time. When you do your first one unassisted, it feels fantastic and is a great achievement! How to build a beginner programme around these exercises These movements work best when repeated regularly rather than rotated constantly. For most beginners, training three to four times per week[9] is sufficient. Sessions can be structured as full-body workouts or simple upper/lower splits. A typical session might include: One lower-body movement (squat or deadlift) One pushing exercise One pulling exercise This structure keeps training focused, balanced, and sustainable, while making progress easy to track. Common beginner mistakes to avoid Some of the most common barriers to progress include: Changing exercises too frequently – Remember, consistency always wins over constant variation. You’ll sometimes hear the term ‘muscle confusion’ banded around but don’t listen; this isn’t a ‘real’ concept at all. Yes, you need to keep challenging yourself to progress but that’s the point – muscles don’t need confusion[10], they need progression! Doing too much, too soon – The gym can become addictive really fast! And sure, it’s great for you both physically and mentally, but you need to make sure you’re pacing yourself. Overtraining is a very real issue and you need to listen to your body. Take it steady, enjoy the journey and watch as you transform over time! Chasing soreness rather than consistency – This is a big one. A common misconception is that sore muscles means a good workout, it doesn’t! Instead, focus on your progression both inside the gym and in the mirror. If your appearance is changing for the better or your lifts, endurance or technique are improving then this is a much better indicator of good training! Neglecting rest and recovery – Perhaps the most important of all. Growth and progress doesn’t happen in the gym, it happens outside of it. Your training is just the stimulus. It’s what you do to support it that affects the results you get. Ensuring you get enough rest between your sessions and put effort into proper recovery and nutrition is crucial. Strength develops through repetition, patience, and gradual progression. The basics work best when given time to do so. Supporting your training outside the gym Training is only one part of the equation. How you recover, fuel, and support your body outside the gym plays a major role in how well you progress. Adequate protein intake supports muscle repair and adaptation, particularly when learning new movements and building strength for the first time. Sleep, stress management, and overall nutrition all influence energy levels, recovery, and consistency. As with training, the goal isn’t complexity, it’s reliability. Supporting your body consistently allows the work you do in the gym to have its intended effect. Fortunately, at Innermost, we have an entire range of science backed products built solely with your performance and wellbeing in mind. For the ultimate protein for strength, try The Strong Protein and see how its innovative blend of top quality ingredients helps you to make the most of your training and maximise your results. In the market for something else? Check out our other products to find one which is right for you and your goals. Build your foundation Beginner training doesn’t need to be complicated to be effective. By focusing on a small number of proven exercises, filtering out unnecessary noise, and committing to consistency, you give yourself the best possible platform for long-term progress. Master the basics, build patiently, and you’ll carry the benefits of these movements through every stage of your training journey. [1] https://www.bupa.co.uk/newsroom/ourviews/healthy-weightlifting [2] https://health.clevelandclinic.org/progressive-overload [3] https://thejoyoflifting.com/the-kiss-method-of-maintaining-strength/ [4] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10426227/ [5] https://www.stonarke.com/blogs/articles/squat-foundation-performance-injury-prevention [6] https://www.garagestrength.com/blogs/news/how-to-squat-technique-improvements-common-mistakes [7] https://www.menshealth.com/uk/building-muscle/a64160698/what-muscles-do-deadlifts-work/ [8] https://hevycoach.com/glossary/unilateral-training/ [9] https://www.riotstrong.com/blog/how-often-should-beginners-work-out [10] https://trainingbyrobyn.com/blog/the-truth-about-muscle-confusion-should-we-constantly-change-our-workoutsbr
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How to Start Going to the Gym - A Beginner’s Guide

One of the biggest reasons many beginners struggle to hit the gym is because they’re afraid of being judged and lack the confidence to walk through the door in the first place. As a newcomer to fitness, you’re overwhelmed by choice, conflicting advice, and may have unrealistic expectations. Before you’ve even stepped foot inside, it can feel like you’re already behind. The truth is, most people don’t need more information to start the gym. They need a clearer way of thinking about it. This guide focuses on how to approach starting the gym sensibly, confidently, and sustainably, using the same principles experienced coaches rely on when working with beginners.
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